SIGH.
i was on the train today.
feeling particularly weird.
it's been quite a long time since i felt that way.
that stupid "i feel like crying but i can't" is temporarily back.
Maybe it wasn't that,
if not why am i feeling this way.
It's just so hard sometimes..
I really have to swallow all my feelings and suppress it.
Its like cancer. It spreads fast.
that's why i'm on suppressants (metaphorically speaking).
It is definitely not a good feeling.
Makes me want to scream and cry
because it hurts inside.
i'm SUCH a girl.


I will avoid this at all costs.
as if my life depends on it.
No.
I can't always have what I want.
Because what i want can't lead me to eternal life.
No. Rebekah. No.

Oh God give me strength to carry on.
I don't want to be held back by this.
I really want out.
ugh.

I suddenly feel alot better. aha.
okay back to studying. :)